I am sorry that I am “Too Much” for you.

An epiphany hit me after a recent conversation that struck me internally so that it caused a jolt in my soul.  I felt my inner self awaken to a truth like  prongs fitting a plug. Power rested on me like a glove and I realized that this shift was another layer of my identity being uncovered in the midst of strife and I needed to take heed to what God was saying. 

Has anyone ever said you were “extra”? I mean, have you ever been in the middle of dwelling as yourself and strutting in all of your glory and someone suddenly pops your balloon of joy with a critique of “you are doing too much” or “you are always extra”. The inward you begins to crumble into pieces as you realize that who you are is distasteful to someone and now you have to simmer down to be more palatable to them and/or adjust  so that someone can be comfortable. How pitiful! 

As these words were thrown at me, I sensed the little rejected girl on the inside get shaken and the grown woman in me begin to raise up her chest to put this declared lie to sleep. But a still, small, calm voice kindly tapped me in the spirit and said “Uh uh, just listen….”. The Spirit hushed me and brought me back to reality  and I allowed my opponent to continue complaining. The words kept shooting at me and finally at the end of this long monologue written to tear me to pieces, I took a deep sigh and spoke  the three words that this moment needed. “I am sorry.” 

The Spirit reframed what started as an insult and he had me graciously accept the truth of what was being revealed. 

I am EXTRA.

I am TOO MUCH.

I am DIFFICULT.

I am A LOT TO DEAL WITH.

I am GOOFY.

I am PASSIONATE.

I am DEEP.

I am EMOTIONAL.

I am COMPLEX.

And you know what? This is the last time I am apologizing for it.

Because none of that—none of what makes me ME—is a mistake.

In that flash of a moment, the Spirit revealed that the fight I had been in for years was never going to end — not because I was too much, but because the container I kept trying to pour myself into was never built to hold me. No matter how I twisted, shrank, or reshaped myself, it simply did not have the capacity to carry the weight, the depth, or the glory of who I am. It took a minute to sit with that. To breathe it in and believe it. The temptation to shrink, to tone it down, to tuck parts of myself away just to make someone else more comfortable—it still creeps in sometimes. But God whispered something deeper that day. He reminded me that He made me this way. And if He crafted me intentionally, who am I to reject the design? The truth is, we ALL are layered beings — textured with nuance, shaped by story, and far too intricate to be summed up in simple terms. There’s always more beneath the surface.

This isn’t arrogance. This is alignment.

There’s a difference between being “too much” and being abundant. And I choose to see myself through the lens of abundance. Full of life. Full of laughter. Full of purpose. Full of glory. Yes, it spills over. Yes, it draws attention. Yes, it takes up space. Yes, it requires effort and intentionality.  Yes, it will be misunderstood. And that’s exactly what God intended.

We live in a world that praises quiet strength but punishes bold light. It will praise you for surviving in silence but criticize you for thriving out loud. But I’ve decided—I will not apologize for existing in full color just because someone else prefers grayscale.

I’m not for everyone, and that’s okay. I was never supposed to be.

To the woman reading this who has ever been called “too much”—I want you to know: you are not a burden; you are a blessing. The right people, the God-ordained people, will not only make room for you, they will thank God for your presence.

Let them call you extra.

Let them say you’re difficult.

Let them side-eye your energy, your dreams, your fire.

That’s none of your business.

Your only responsibility is to be obedient to who God created you to be.

So no, I’m not going to dim my light anymore. I’m not going to make myself smaller so others feel bigger. I’m not going to change my flavor when God wants me to be the salt in the earth.

I’m going to keep laughing loudly, loving deeply, dreaming boldly, and walking confidently—in the Spirit and in my fullness.

And to the next person who thinks I’m “too much”…

I’ll simply smile, tilt my crown, and say:

“You’re absolutely right.”